Paragraph 1- When you think about this project, what are you most proud of and why?  Be specific! This could be a particular aspect of your final product, part of your work process, a specific revision you made...anything!

     I’m most proud of my creativity and perseverance in this project! When initially starting our first essay drafts, I had a really nice feeling flow to my essay. This was really cool to me, because I felt very good about my writing and felt a big amount of space to be creative with how I worded things; really developing my style as a writer.And the coolest thing ever-- we were going for the “Sh*tty First Draft” approach, but mine came out elegant the first time, which I was so proud of. And this also worked out for me very well, not have been able to revise my draft with the rest of the class as I was out sick for two days. Even when I came back and we were doing a group-critique, no one had feedback! When I persevered most, it was probably with my photograph (aside from my essay, which you will read about soon). After school, it was very difficult for me to take my portrait of my beloved mother. I was very stressed in that moment in time, exhibition close, my brother  screaming, not being able to find that perfect angle for a while. But after talking it out with my mom, I felt a lot better (yet another reason why she is the best thing on Earth). I found the strength in myself to persevere and not give up! I took that photograph and I drew on it, and was very proud. This showed me that there’s always good in every project, and moment, for that matter, and you just have to figure out how to access it. I thought deeply about how the only things that ever hold us back are usually our minds and perspectives, so choose a good one.

• Paragraph 2- Where did you run into difficulty with this project?  Give specific examples. How did you deal with these difficulties? What choices could have made differently to avoid or deal with these difficulties more successfully?

     I ran into difficulty when trying to fit my essay into more of a structured form, but it was also a great lesson in a way you might not expect. Since I had already made my essay in a super flowy, published interview style and feel, I was already immensely happy with my first draft. It felt like my writing finally extended my soul, and it was lovely! Do you know what a spiritual experience it is to take pride in a gorgeous first draft that is not only grammar and spelling mistake-free, but feels like an extension of who you are? Yes. But this lead to the supreme panic after my seminar with Lori and when we were revising. She said, in short, that it was too casual. It was a god-awful feeling experience to have my writing not amaze my teachers for the first time while it also amazed me for the first time. After school, I really struggled with taking my photograph after this newfound feeling of doubt and fear in my actual skills as a writer. The fear and push and pull of loving what you did, but being told that it isn’t good enough is not something most anyone should ever go through. I felt like I really loved my writing, but it felt like my teacher did not. Since she was in a position of power over something like a grade, I was scared. But you know what? All of my idols, being Marie Curie or Albert Einstein, (and every human being) were not always well-received in their incredible moments of genius. It’s simple human error; just because my teacher was looking for something that she did not see in my essay does not mean that my essay was bad at all. What I wish I would have done differently here is not panic so much, and especially not change anything about my writing or my essay so that I could get an A. What I want to have done instead is to use the tools she was trying to give us, but not have felt that I should change my natural writing, because that is not and was not the case! Authenticity is so much more important, starkly so, than getting approved by others. Therefore, I wish to have advocated the way this treatment made me feel, much rather than ever internalizing it and trying to change based upon one person’s opinion. I think that perhaps there may have been a lack of understanding in what I was supposed to do with our revision sheets as a writer. It was not so much change my writing to be more academic as it was simply trying to give tools so that I could set up my quotes properly and sound more professional (which isn’t the most fun for me, but it is a valuable skill even if I don’t feel like it fused with this project very well). What really irked me was actually probably the timing at which this was handed out. Two days before exhibition is already a lot of panic, but now I am supposedly supposed to re-format my essay? It would have been clearer to me that these were just tools to add to my set if the timing was more appropriate for me as a prolific writer (it can feel like a huge load to edit my mass of text!). All and all, school, in my opinion, is not something to narrow one down so they can fit into a predetermined role. No, rather it is to open them up. “What are you passionate about? How do you communicate your interests? How can I help you in this process?” That, to me, is what school should be. I believe that that is what will open us up to the world, utilizing our individual gifts. Don’t get me wrong, learning new writing styles and structures is totally awesome and helpful! But when it gives a student an existential crisis, there is room for growth in how these tools are brought about. I give no offense to Lori or this school, and I will communicate my input, thoughts, and feelings for the better of both of these already amazing beings.

• Paragraph 3- What is the most important thing you learned over the course of this project?  Why is this important, and how does this connect to your final project? (this could focus on specific content you learned, a skill you developed, self-knowledge, work habits/processes...all of it is fair game!)

     One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in this project is, as you know, not to sacrifice authenticity for something that may seem more rewarding. This means, do not lose yourself inside of “supposed to” but take the lessons that will serve your life. I think that this was not only a great impact on my final product, but serves as a great lesson in life itself. We all know how society has predetermined roles. Whether it be gender, dominance, school, or jobs, it’s all a system that is constantly (but slowly) changing, some events more rapidly than others. But, so I’ve heard, over half of the jobs that will be available for my generation have not even been discovered or invented yet! This means that in an ever-changing world, authenticity is of high importance to guide us on these unknown paths. We have got to follow what we are passionate about. We may as well follow our hearts and see where it leads us, because school seems to be trying to prepare us kids for an older model than what is coming. That being said, I have also learned some really good writing techniques for academic writing! It was simply hard to trust in the beginning. I suppose the overall point of this paragraph is that we should do what we’re passionate about while also learning, gaining and loving the tools that come with an education. Take those TEA-paragraphs! Get fascinated about white matter VS. gray matter! These are the tools that will help us, a beautiful combination of what we like and how we can improve what we love. Build the skill-set, build ourselves.

 

Paragraph 4- Self-Assess on Class Habits and Intellectual Presence Rubric. Read the directions at the top of the rubric carefully.

I would probably rate myself at a 9 or 10 based on this rubric. I almost always listen, use my class-time efficiently, and easily find ways to connect to a topic we are learning. One of my favorite ways to connect to topics this year has been the “four-corners” strategy, where we are asked a question prompt and divide into corners of the room ranging from strongly disagree to strongly agree. We would then have a discussion about why we chose that place to stand. This process really aided me in the fact that I could hear others getting passionate when talking, others maybe not as passionate, and those who don’t know, I definitely got more and more ideas from what others were talking about. This quarter so far, I found it easy to get ready for class and be quiet when Lori is talking. Generally, I didn’t do anything that wasn’t a 10. There was once or twice that I got off-task and kept speaking to my friend(s) when we were working. It didn’t cost me much in the end, but I could have used such time perhaps a little better. I suppose that this is the only thing I wish to improve upon, making time for a hefty understanding of any assignment, and sure, talking it through every now and then.